Skip to main content
  1. Home
  2. Cats

PawTracks may earn a commission when you buy through links on our site.

Gentle! How to stop your toddler from pulling kitty’s tail

Mary Johnson
By

It’s no secret that having pets is good for children. Sharing their home with a pet not only teaches kids to empathize with others but also instills a sense of cooperation and responsibility in young children. Perhaps most importantly, research has proven that babies who grow up in a household with pets are up to 77 percent less likely to develop a pet allergy later in life. But if you’ve ever found yourself frantically searching phases like “stop toddler pulling kitty tail,” then you’ve discovered one drawback of having both kids and cats. We’ve found the best expert advice for the best way to stop your toddler from being too rough with the family cat. Here’s what you should know. 

A young boy snuggles a Scottish Fold cat on a yellow sofa.
Image used with permission by copyright holder

Why toddlers pull on your cat’s tail

You love your child, but you also love your cat, and you want the two to love each other just as much. Sometimes, though, children roughhouse with cats, especially when they’re toddlers. According to parent educator Judy Arnall, who works with the Calgary, Canada-based group Attachment Parenting Canada, young toddlers aren’t being deliberately naughty when they pull your cat’s tail or throw toys. They’re learning cause and effect without considering the consequences, which Arnall says kids are incapable of until they’re around three and a half years old. 

Recommended Videos

Unfortunately, there can be serious consequences for your cat, even if your child isn’t old enough to process them. While tail pull injuries won’t damage your cat’s spinal cord, they can cause severe nerve damage—and may even result in a broken tail. Understandably, your cat may bite or scratch your child in response to having her tail pulled. According to experts, this is the number-one reason children should not be left alone with a cat. 

How to teach your toddler to be gentle with your cat

Children are particularly impulsive when they’re young. Because they’re naturally curious and don’t understand consequences yet, toddlers may pull a cat’s tail, whiskers, or ears. Young children may also throw their toys or hit a pet. While this behavior is alarming, experts say it’s generally a phase and that you’ll be able to correct their behavior with time and patience. Here’s how to teach your toddler to interact safely (and gently) with your cat.

A young girl hugs and kisses a long-haired orange and white cat.
oes / Shutterstock

Step One: Give it time

As tempting as it is to introduce your toddler to a new cat, your cat needs time to settle in first. Make sure your fur baby has easy access to her essential needs (a litter box, water, food, toys, and a scratching post), and allow her to have her own space where she can get away from the family if she feels overwhelmed. 

Step Two: Start off slowly

While your child is playing calmly in a play pen, allow your cat to venture into the room. Ask your child to ignore the cat for the time being. This can be difficult, as most children are immediately drawn to animals. Allow your cat to explore the room. It’s important for Miss Kitty to choose whether or not she wants to interact with the child. Feel free to use treats to encourage your cat to get closer to your child, but don’t force the meeting. 

Step Three: Allow your toddler and cat to spend more time together

When your child is able to spend a few minutes in the same room with Miss Kitty without trying to touch her, you can allow your cat to roam the room for longer amounts of time. Reward your child for good behavior, and take the cat out of the room immediately if your child has a tantrum or throws anything. This teaches your child that playtime with kitty only happens when they’re on their best behavior. 

Step Four: Teach your child how to pet the cat

If your curious kitty has warmed up to your child enough to approach, it’s time to show your toddler how and where to pet your cat. Focus primarily on the back, shoulders, and head, especially the chin, between the ears, and the cheeks. Demonstrate the amount of pressure to use when petting Miss Kitty. Instruct your child not to touch the tail, ears, or belly. (We also recommend reading Elizabeth Verdick’s “Tails Are Not for Pulling” to your child.) 

A young girl holds a tabby cat in a field of flowers.
Image used with permission by copyright holder

Having cats and kids in the home can be a delight, but chaos will ensue if your rambunctious toddler makes a habit of pulling your cat’s tail. Spend time teaching your child how to interact with your cat, and make sure to supervise their time together until your child knows how to play gently. When in doubt, rely on the professionals. Cat behaviorist Jackson Galaxy has several informative YouTube videos that can make teaching your child how to play with Miss Kitty much easier. 

Editors' Recommendations

Topics
Mary Johnson
Mary Johnson
Contributor
Mary Johnson is a writer and photographer from New Orleans, Louisiana. Her work has been published in PawTracks and…
Why you should feel honored if your cat sleeps at your feet
If you've ever wondered about this cat behavior, this article is for you
Calico cat lying on a white comforter

Have you noticed that when you go to sleep, your cat automatically heads to the foot of the bed and curls up by your feet? It's no mistake, and it's not your cat giving you the cold shoulder, either. This is a deliberate decision on your kitty's part, and there are many reasons why they might choose to sleep there instead of curling up on your stomach or by your shoulder. In fact, if your cat sleeps by your feet, you should take it as a compliment and feel flattered.

So, why do cats sleep at your feet? It's a mix of your cat's affection for you, a feeling of safety, and even the body heat you generate that play into your cat's decision to sleep at the foot of the bed.

Read more
4 reasons why cats wag their tails while lying down
This behavior is almost always never something to worry about
Cat yawns while sitting in a window

We know all about dog tail wagging, and most pet owners can spot the difference between a happy twitch and a cautious one. But did you realize that cats use their tails to express themselves, too? Like with dogs, the cat tail swish could mean a few different things, and it's important to have some sense of feline behavior — and your specific kitty — to decipher their movements. So why do cats wag their tails while lying down? We'll walk you through the most common causes and when you might need to step in.

Why do cats wag their tails while lying down?
If you stumble upon your kitty lying down and only moving their tail, it's probably because of one of these four reasons.
They feel happy or playful
You might see your cat lying lazily in the sun, but suddenly they give a little tail twitch as you approach. It's not your imagination. They're excited to see you and ready to play. Assuming you don't note any signs of aggression (we'll get to those later), you should head on over to pet your cat or grab their favorite toy and start a game.
It's hunting time
We can all picture the lion stalking their prey while slowly moving their tail back and forth — your cat does this, too. Oftentimes, this one will happen when they're lying on a perch or near a window and can spy on birds or small mammals in the yard. It could even be that they've spotted a fly and will pounce at any minute. All you need to do here is reach for your camera and enjoy your silly kitty at their best.
They're stressed
A cat that feels stressed will often floof their tail and start to wag it. Kitties generally puff up their fur to appear larger and more menacing. This action may also combine with an arched back or a hiss. Alternatively, sometimes tail thumping comes from overstimulation. You'll recognize pretty quickly which movements indicate fear and which mean fun.
They're dreaming
Sometimes, you'll observe your mouser twitch their tail while sleeping. It could come from a simple muscle spasm just like you get when you sleep (it also might mean they're hunting down prey in their dreams). Additionally, your sleepy kitty may be, well, faking it. They might look asleep but are actually just resting and waiting for you to come over.

Read more
When do kittens open their eyes? This is what happens if they do it too early
Find out all you should know about kittens opening their eyes
Two people holding a tiny gray and white kitten whose eyes haven't opened yet

Is there anything more adorable than a kitten whose eyes haven't opened yet? That's debatable. Although scientists have found that puppies are marginally cuter than kittens, cat people strongly disagree. Whether you're a dog person or a lifelong cat aficionado, there's something about tiny kittens that tugs at the heartstrings.

Have you ever wondered, "When do kittens open their eyes? What happens if they open their eyes too early?" You're not alone. We're here with the scoop on what veterinarians have to say about when kittens first look at the world, why you should never force a kitten to open their eyes too early, and what happens if your newborn kitten's eyes open ahead of schedule.

Read more